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This is an Unexpected Bump for Sure -- 24

Submitted by Dale M. Cannon on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 11:04

“Thank you for rescuing me.”
“It was the door.”
“How’s that?”
“It’s your own personal door – it’s with you all the time now, sort of surrounds you.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow!”
“Yep.”
“Thank God! Now I’m free!”
“Not quite,” Chloe says.
I look a bit distraught. I am a bit distraught.
“You think they’ll follow me?”
“Of course not, silly; you have your door with you – it’s not there because it’s with you. They have no way of following you.”
“So I’m free.”
“Not exactly.”
“How’s that?”
“They’ll be understanding if you are gone. There will be a more concentrated and expansive search for the door.”
“So I’ve got to go back? I’ve got to get tortured?”
“Not exactly,” Raphael said. “We noticed something when we discovered you there – in fact that’s how we discovered you there.”
“What?”
“You were sort of blinking in and out here – like you were here one moment and not the other – actually sort of nanoseconds instead of moments – but you know what I mean.”
“So?”
“So you’re there and you’re not there.”
“I’m blinking in and out?”
“Right.”
“Wow!”
“So you go back to where you were,” Chloe elucidates, “and when the guy takes you for interrogation, you will be there and not there and he won’t really hurt you although he will think you are there all the time.”
“He will be torturing thin air.”
“You know,” Raphael says thoughtfully, “the guy might be suspicious if he discovers he’s hitting thin air.”
“Yeah,” says Chloe,” we might just have a problem there.”
“You have a problem,” I say, “YOU have a problem! I’m the one that might just have the problem if he tries to hit me and hits nothing!”
“Nah,” Raphael says, “I’ve got an idea.”
Everybody looks toward Raphael.
“Hey Hans!” he shouts down the beach. A man about my size looks around, recognizes Raphael, waves, Raphael motions him up here, he comes up. I see a rough type face and scars in various places around his body.
“Hans, I want you to meet my friends.”
“Pleased,” Hans says.
Then Raphael takes Hans aside.
“He’ll do it,” Raphael says.
We’re all silent.
“We get another chair like the one Pierre has been tied to, put Hans in it . . . “
”I know where you’re going,” I retort, “but will Hans go through the door?”
“Let’s find out.”
Hans sits in the chair, right at the doorway, just in front of me, he blinks out, comes back.
“That’s a scary place,” he says, “but not as bad as places I’ve been.”
“Hans, you see,” explains Raphael, “has been through varoius forms of torture – part of his former business – I think that’s all the information you need to know.”
“We intersperse him with Pierre here, sort of each blinking in and out sort of – you know?, and Hans blinking to take the brunt of the torture – and Pierre here won’t have to endure much at all – if any – if we can time it right?”
We think about if for a bit.
“Sounds good, Chloe says.”
“Quick!!” Raphael says, “Pierre, you’ve got to get back - -the guards are about to look in the door!”
I’m blinked back into my room.

internalized mentalities converging?...

Submitted by R.K.Galvez on Tue, 09/29/2009 - 19:58.

R.K.Galvez
I was intrigued by the stream of consciousness approach here - much like listening to various people trapped within one entity but at the same time devoid from it. Yes, it took me a while to get it, but I was very interested by it. I do like abstract straight-to-the-point dialogue splurging; there's something very primal and of-the-moment about it. I'm assuming this is part of a continuum of ideas as such? I'm relatively new, so I'm trying to catch up on a lot of things that I've missed[time being, quite timeless and all that...], so bear with me if you've already answered this! Thanks.

internalized etc.

Submitted by Dale M. Cannon on Thu, 10/15/2009 - 11:23.

the story is stream-of-consciousness, written from first person perspective, narrative is intentionally disconcerting, disembodied, discombobulated, disoriented, and confusing, for it is intended to reflect the narrator's state of mind and disoriented, confused situation.

He is, as are all the characters, victims of circumstance.

And there is more to come. Confusion has reigned lately, so there hasn't been much production. Been all tied up.

at your service,
Dale M. Cannon